Login
New User

Welcome to AOAS.ORG
Tuesday, July 17 2018 @ 11:38 am EDT


 Forum Index > General > Off-Topic New Topic Post Reply
 Anyone know any good jokes?
 |  Printable Version
dgrosvold
 Saturday, September 13 2003 @ 12:32 am EDT (Read 6622 times)  
Forum Admin
Admin


Status: offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 449

Cool OK -

This blind guy walks into a bar ...
No. Um,

This blind guy goes into a local watering hole, with his seeing-eye dog. He stops in the middle of the floor, grabs the dog by the tail and starts spinning him around over his head.

The bartender, upon seeing this apparently inhumane act, yells at the blind man,

"Hey! You! You with the dog! Put that dog down right now! I'm not going to have any of this animal cruelty going on in my establishment! What do you think you're doing any way?"

The blind guy says,
"Oh, nuthin'. I was just lookin' around!"


Ha cha-cha-cha! Eek!

Keep 'em clean! Mr. Green


Dave - Morrow, AR
 
Profile Email Website
Quote
R Parks
 Saturday, September 13 2003 @ 12:46 am EDT  
Forum Regular
Regular

Status: offline

Registered: 06/20/03
Posts: 50

Good one! Laughing Out Loud


R Parks Alma, AR USA
 
Profile Email
Quote
lora
 Saturday, September 13 2003 @ 12:06 pm EDT  
Forum Newbie
Newbie

Status: offline

Registered: 06/21/03
Posts: 8

As a retired school teacher of 26 years, one of our favorite class units included astronomy. My sixth graders loved looking through our school's six inch Dobsonian at all the wonders of our galaxy. They really rejoyed looking at the moon and learning about the names and locations of the craters. One of our students was always cracking jokes in class.(There's one or more in every class!) I would try to have a creative comeback when this happened. With sixth graders, it's fun to laugh alot of the time! I remember we had previously studied a unit about arachnids and we were at the beginning of our astronomy unit. They were asking all types of questions and we had a few minutes before the class was to be dismissed.
I asked if anyone knew what type of arachnids were on the moon? Looking puzzled, no one could come up with the answer. I answered, "LUNATICKS, of course!" Laughing Out Loud


 
Profile Email
Quote
Anonymous: Joe Schmoe
 Wednesday, September 17 2003 @ 10:55 am EDT  


Didja hear the one about the discussion group that was open only to deaf-mutes? Eek! Wink


 
Quote
Anonymous: TexasJagsFan
 Saturday, February 05 2005 @ 02:07 pm EST  


Q. How do you keep a Cincinnati Bengal out of your yard?

A. Put up goal posts



Q. Where do you go in case of a tornado?

A. The Paul Brown Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!



Q. What do you call a Cincinnati Bengal with a SuperBowl Championship ring?

A. A thief



Q. Why doesn't Dayton Ohio have a professional football team?

A. Because then Cincinnati would want one



Q. Why was Dick LeBeau upset when the Cincinnati Bengals' playbook was
stolen?

A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.



Q. What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar



Q. How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Superbowl?

A. Mike Brown has no idea! -- and we may never know either!



Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the NFL playoffs?

A. The Cincinnati Bengals



Q. What do the Cincinnati Bengals and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road



Q. How can you tell when the Cincinnati Bengals are going to run the
football?

A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes


 
Quote
Dale
 Monday, February 07 2005 @ 06:47 pm EST  
Forum Regular
Regular

Status: offline

Registered: 06/19/03
Posts: 49

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Mr. Green


 
Profile Email
Quote
dgrosvold
 Monday, February 07 2005 @ 08:09 pm EST  
Forum Admin
Admin

Status: offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 449

Quote by Dale: This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Mr. Green


Now THAT's funny. Razz

Good one, Dale.


Dave - Morrow, AR
 
Profile Email Website
Quote
Anonymous: TexasJagsFan
 Tuesday, February 08 2005 @ 05:51 pm EST  


Good One Mr. Green

This guy is filling in for a regular bus driver. The bus driver tells the new guy that the passengers are kind of strange. The bus starts at Sesame Street and his first 2 passengers are 2 obese women. The ladies come on the bus and say hi my name is Patty, the other one says hi my name is Patty also. He continues on, the next stop a guy gets on, he says hi my name is Ross and I'm special. So the driver continues on and at the next stop another guy gets on. He says hi my name is Fletcher Cleese. The guy sits down and starts picking his bunions the rest of the way.

When the driver gets home, his wife asks him how his run was. He said oh...

2 obesse Pattie's, special Ross, Fletcher Cleese picking bunions on a Sesame Street run.


 
Quote
nspace01
 Wednesday, April 06 2005 @ 11:51 pm EDT  
Forum Sage
Sage


Status: online

Registered: 03/27/05
Posts: 376

“Where’s the bathroom?” asked the Drunk.

“Down the hall, first door on the right.” Answered the Bartender.

The Drunk staggers down the hallway.

A few minutes later, the Bartender hears the Drunk screaming. He runs down the hallway and looks in the first door on the left. There set the Drunk.

“Every time I try to flush this thing, it pinches my butte really bad” says the Drunk.

“My God, man, your setting on a mop bucket!!” responds the Bartender.

Laughing Out Loud


nSpace01
 
Profile Email
Quote
Content generated in: 0.10 seconds
New Topic Post Reply



 All times are EDT. The time is now 11:38 am.
Normal Topic Normal Topic
Locked Topic Locked Topic
Sticky Topic Sticky Topic
New Post New Post
Sticky Topic W/ New Post Sticky Topic W/ New Post
Locked Topic W/ New Post Locked Topic W/ New Post
View Anonymous Posts 
Anonymous users can post 
Filtered HTML Allowed 
Censored Content 

User Functions






Lost your password?

What's New

STORIES

No new stories

COMMENTS last 2 days

No new comments

LINKS last 2 weeks

No recent new links

Want It ALL?

Become a card-carrying member of AOAS. Paying dues gives you several advantages over other registered users, including a subscription to the club newsletter, an AOAS.ORG e-mail address, use of club materials, including books and telescopes, and access to the Coleman Observatory facilities. On top of all that, you also qualify for a 20% discount on all books at any Books-A-Million location.

To get your membership application, click here.