OK -

This blind guy walks into a bar ...
No. Um,

This blind guy goes into a local watering hole, with his seeing-eye dog. He stops in the middle of the floor, grabs the dog by the tail and starts spinning him around over his head.

The bartender, upon seeing this apparently inhumane act, yells at the blind man,

The blind guy says,

"Oh, nuthin'. I was just lookin' around!"

Ha cha-cha-cha!

Good one!

As a retired school teacher of 26 years, one of our favorite class units included astronomy. My sixth graders loved looking through our school's six inch Dobsonian at all the wonders of our galaxy. They really rejoyed looking at the moon and learning about the names and locations of the craters. One of our students was always cracking jokes in class.(There's one or more in every class!) I would try to have a creative comeback when this happened. With sixth graders, it's fun to laugh alot of the time! I remember we had previously studied a unit about arachnids and we were at the beginning of our astronomy unit. They were asking all types of questions and we had a few minutes before the class was to be dismissed.
I asked if anyone knew what type of arachnids were on the moon? Looking puzzled, no one could come up with the answer. I answered, "LUNATICKS, of course!"

Didja hear the one about the discussion group that was open only to deaf-mutes?

Q. How do you keep a Cincinnati Bengal out of your yard?

A. Put up goal posts



Q. Where do you go in case of a tornado?

A. The Paul Brown Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!



Q. What do you call a Cincinnati Bengal with a SuperBowl Championship ring?

A. A thief



Q. Why doesn't Dayton Ohio have a professional football team?

A. Because then Cincinnati would want one



Q. Why was Dick LeBeau upset when the Cincinnati Bengals' playbook was
stolen?

A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.



Q. What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar



Q. How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Superbowl?

A. Mike Brown has no idea! -- and we may never know either!



Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the NFL playoffs?

A. The Cincinnati Bengals



Q. What do the Cincinnati Bengals and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road



Q. How can you tell when the Cincinnati Bengals are going to run the
football?

A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Good One

This guy is filling in for a regular bus driver. The bus driver tells the new guy that the passengers are kind of strange. The bus starts at Sesame Street and his first 2 passengers are 2 obese women. The ladies come on the bus and say hi my name is Patty, the other one says hi my name is Patty also. He continues on, the next stop a guy gets on, he says hi my name is Ross and I'm special. So the driver continues on and at the next stop another guy gets on. He says hi my name is Fletcher Cleese. The guy sits down and starts picking his bunions the rest of the way.

When the driver gets home, his wife asks him how his run was. He said oh...

2 obesse Pattie's, special Ross, Fletcher Cleese picking bunions on a Sesame Street run.

“Where’s the bathroom?” asked the Drunk.

“Down the hall, first door on the right.” Answered the Bartender.

The Drunk staggers down the hallway.

A few minutes later, the Bartender hears the Drunk screaming. He runs down the hallway and looks in the first door on the left. There set the Drunk.

“Every time I try to flush this thing, it pinches my butte really bad” says the Drunk.

“My God, man, your setting on a mop bucket!!” responds the Bartender.